


Who Will Go For Us?

by verucasalt123



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Gen, Scripture, Season/Series 05 Spoilers, character death is canonical and temporary, sam's self esteem issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-11
Updated: 2013-05-11
Packaged: 2017-12-11 12:17:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 843
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/798645
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/verucasalt123/pseuds/verucasalt123
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam contemplates Scripture, and his destiny.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Who Will Go For Us?

_”The King will say to those on his right, 'Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.'”_

 

Sam read the passage over and over. He knew he’d spent a significant amount of time helping people, and only doing it for the sake of having it done. He had never sought any personal gain from his actions, as most of the time, the people he helped had no idea what he’d done. But now he began to wonder. Was it a truly selfless act if he gained satisfaction from having done it? Usually no one was there to thank him, they’d either wind up dead or not having any clue as to what Sam or his brother had done to take away whatever it was that happened to be menacing them at the time.

 

_"Then the righteous will answer him, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?' The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.'”_

 

Well yeah, Sam guessed that he’d comforted and helped complete strangers without thinking about it, without wondering whether or not the person may have **deserved** his compassion. Everyone deserved compassion, right? Every person, anyway (maybe not Sam, but everybody else). Not monsters or demons – wait, there had been exceptions even to that - but people…of course. He’d exorcised many demons, but he’d always at least tried to find a way to save the people they’d possessed, though he lost at that game more often than he won. But he tried. And that had to count for something.

 

Sam had done lots of things in the past couple of years that were at the very least suspect, at the worst sinful and, to his view, unforgivable. He was prepared to accept the consequences of his actions. In his mind, the bad outweighed the good by a staggering amount, by a load that tipped the scales of Themis (ok, so maybe he was getting his mythology kind of confused and jumbled) so much that they might break. The problem was that Themis and her sisters and brothers really were mythology. He wanted to put them aside now, especially since his belief in God and Angels had borne itself out in a physical manifestation. It still meant something, though, Themis and her wisdom, her sword and her scales, measuring the good against the bad.

 

He’d spent a year lying to himself, lying to his brother, lying to Ruby, lying to Cas. And ok, the truth was that he had no remorse for lying to Ruby. He was glad she was dead, and no matter what he looked for in the Bible, he couldn’t find anything about being happy to have led to someone’s death, even if technically it hadn’t been a person.

 

_Whoso diggeth a pit shall fall therein: and he that rolleth a stone, it will return upon him._

 

Sam knew that he had dug that pit, and rolled that stone. There was nothing anyone could do (not even Dean or Castiel, who seemed to be able to fix anything) to change what Sam had done. His decision to say yes to Lucifer seemed like the right thing to do. He had been called, and he answered, just like he’d hoped for so many years for his own prayers to be answered. He faced what he’d accepted as his destiny, he believed in God and His plan. There wasn’t exactly a line around the block of humans willing to do what needed to be done here. The voice of the Lord echoed in his brain.

 

_Then I heard the voice of the Lord, saying, "Whom will I send? Who will go for us?" I said, "Here I am. Send me!"_

 

And so, as Dean predicted, he’d said “Yes” to the Morning Star when the time came. He was more than ready to be the one sent. By this time it had become apparent that the angels were certainly not acting on God’s orders or even on His behalf. Having finally gathered the slightest bit of control over Lucifer, Sam recognized that he was no Isaiah, but he had done what he was supposed to do. God sometimes had strange requests, but Sam was willing to go along. He’d started this whole thing, and he had to be the one to finish it.


End file.
